Monday, January 23, 2012






11/13

Anyone who is happy now has been misinformed. I watch depressed New Yorkers pass by as I eat breakfast in Midtown. Anyone who does not look tense and miserable looks foolish.
The Merry Prankster is dead, another Prankster also recently died.

I dreamed I went to a happy hunting ground in a pickup with 2 Indians. A herd of white deer approach, maybe to attack.

I will get on a jet plane Saturday and spend Thanksgiving with family in Florida. Then I’ll get on another jet and come back to NY. And if I get back safely to Brooklyn I’ll give thanks for real.

11/15

Tax cuts for the rich and corporate welfare for mismanaged companies, but not unemployment compensation for laid-off workers.
Ruin the environment for short term profits from oil, coal, gas to keep the big pretty machines running.
Build a missile defense shield in space to create more corporate profits for the weapons industry even though its useless against anthrax letters and suitcase bombs.
Delete civil liberties, round up people with Arab-sounding names and keep them in jail until they say something.
Tap phones, computers, all conversations
Paranoia plus Greed plus Prejudice plus Fear - an evil brew boiling in ugly Republican brains, even those with Democrat faces.
What’re you going to do about it? March and chant stupid slogans and carry mass-produced signs with more stupid slogans? Circulate petitions and sell bumper stickers with stupid slogans?
HEY HEY HO HO STUPID SLOGANS GOTTA GO

There’s no place like home for the holidays.

Try to learn how to meditate.

Count your breath, count each exhalation up to 4, then start over.

Start reading the poetry of Rumi.

walk around the old neighborhood which is now full of strangers.

Overeat. Watch TV. Get cranky. Argue about religion. Read the paper.

Sunday, January 22, 2012







11/6

Shuttle between depression and panic but never get off the train.
Troubled sleep. One night it involves decaying body parts. Last night it’s menacing storm clouds or smoke, maybe a tornado approaching. Where is the safest place in the house?
Think about this dream on my way to work, going from one train to another. One day you’ll be hurrying through the Union Square station, checking out the women rushing by, of course, and a fucking bomb will go off and kill us all.


11/7

Come home and rest.
Have something to eat, relax on the couch.
Be alone or be among friends, people who accept you, who don’t hassle you.
Be alone and listen to surrounding sounds, life around you.
There
is you and
Here
is everything else.
You are one in the midst of the All,
part of it all - as they say -
baby, you’re what’s happening.

The propaganda is too much.
Newspapers and electronic media “cover” events by repeating what the government says - officials are quoted, press conferences held, complete transcripts of presidential speeches are printed, Pentagon information given - all of this presented as if it were perhaps true.
God I’m sick of the government the military the corporate state the rich
They speak and we listen. They define the terms. They tell the lies and we can only guess the truth.

11/10

We need to watch out for anyone carrying a box cutter or a letter. Especially beware of anyone with a suitcase.
The situation is not under control. Until we know more it is important that the public be kept ignorant of what we do know.
Anyone who expresses doubt about our actions and statements is guilty of aiding our enemy or enemies.
Anyone who suggests that acts of terror against the homeland may be a consequence of acts of terror on the part of the homeland shares responsibility for those acts of terror against the homeland.
It is time for each of you to decide which side you are on, which terrorists you want to be associated with.
Those who refuse to participate in this great work of making terror will not be allowed to play with our guns.

11/11

ALL MUST JOIN FIGHT AGAINST TERROR, Bush tells U.N.

11/12

Heaven is not far, it
is under my thumb
when I detonate the
sacred explosion that
will blow down this
wall of humiliation

Plain text of previous posts

Fat congressman hurries down Capitol steps in panic over terrorist germs and last month it was suicide jets and what went through his mind then? How the airlines bought him off with campaign contributions to ease security regulations? by now he’s had time to think of corrupt regimes he’s helped out, bombing raids and other state terror he’s approved or condoned and all the consequences of bad policies are flying into his face in the form of germs and jets and god knows what
Why do the politicians of the last empire sound so confused and look so scared? Its not just the jets and the germs. For Homeland Security we’ll wrap orselves up in bulletproof flags, sleep in hazmat masks and head phones that play Whitney Houston God Bless Amaerica non-stop to drown out scary facts.

How many subway bombings would it take to make you too scared to use mass transit?
How many cases of smallpox before you leave the City?

10/21
The old problem:
putting the dead in their place
first you have to find them,
then you have to hide them.
Don’t want them sneaking up on you or turning up in unexpected places - no nasty surprises - eek! - a severed hand, a finger. A skeleton under the sofa. A shoe with a foot in it in the garden.
An army of rescue workers dig in the pile to rescue the dead - “recovery” because they are uncovered so they can be covered up Put them in their place.


October gold sun lights 57th street, air is smoky - imagine its a camp fire - imagine you’re a Boy Scout pretending to be at war
or get real - it is war, of a sort -
psychological
Onedge and wondering if overcoming fear means getting used to attacks
looking out for suspicious packages, suspicious people, suspicious microns
Another beautiful day stolen by this new anxiety

10/22
You look so cute in your Haz Mat suit

smallpox anthrax sarin and cholera
Wait a minute Mr. Postman

Instant blowback’s gonna get us
I’m afraid to ride the bus

10/24
Dream word game

NOW
IS
WON
ONE
IS
TWO

Prehistoric energy under ground
ancient mythology unconscious unending
territorial disputes and unresolvable geopolitcal conflict and
paranoid toxic religion mind control of weapons of mass destruction
ethnic hatred genocide
arrogant empire war machine
propaganda media

In the Future everyone will be either a hostage or a refugee -
and the Future has arrived

NOW is WON
ONE is TOO
TO is FOR
FOUR is WHY
Y is YOU
U R EYE
I is SEE
B is HEAR
HERE is NOW is NO is KNOW is YES is RIGHT
WRITE is WRONG
NOWisWON

10/25 Same old stories, legends that inspire fantasies that influence history. Like David and Goliath. Little guy with a slingshot kills a giant. 10 guys with box cutters bring sown the WTC. A guy hiding in a cave in a desert masterminds an assault on the Empire.
The Empire could voluntarily “step sown” by contributing to the creation of a decentralized global community
You may say I’m a dreamer. I don’t know if something like world peace is possible but I doubt that it is possiblle for a single superpower to survive for long.
Daniel’s vision, the Exodus.
Empires rise and fall

LONG
LIVE
IRONY

10/26
HOMELAND SECURIITY
The NEW NORMALCY

Where do you hide?
Can’t hide under the Flag
Stars + Stripes are not
forever

Jenu?
Pakistan pop group
Sufi

10/28
You have to do something, get even.
THEY killed a few of US,
WE will kill a few of THEM, whoever THEY are.

Identify a prime suspect.
Since the actual killers already killed themselves we’ll go after those we think financed and planned the attack.
Since those we think financed and planned the attack are hard to find we will attack those who provide them “safe harbor.” Since those who provide them safe harbor live among those who had nothin to do with this innocent people will also be killed.
We will bomb residential areas, senior citizen homes, U.N. mine -cleaning operations, and Red Cross warehouses, because we have tolook like we’re doing something

(if you can’t kill the one you hate, kill the ones you can

We will bomb Afghanistan until the Taliban’s resolve is weakened, and if the Taliban’s resolve is strengthened by the bombing, the Red Cross may surrender to us.


10/29
Is the ship sinking?
No, the ship is not sinking
Are you sure?
Yes, the ship is not sinking

The rich own all the lifeboats
and nowthey are having them gold-plated.


10/30
Don’t know her last name but she has a distictive face.
Not sure where she worked.
She said “Japanese bank” and it may have been -- probably was? -- the Fuji Bank in Tower One, which lost many people.
This is the specific face I look for in the photos of “missing” people.
Hers and Miguel, the UPS guy. But mainly hers, and now the 5,000 deaths of people I didn’t know are concentrated into that one face I do know and liked and now I wonder how to find out when I don’t eeven know her last name


10/31
USA dropped feed and bombs.
Trick or treat.
Then USA drops warnings --
Don’t cnfuse cluster bombs for food packages.
And USA is also worried that Taliban evil-doers will poison the food to make Afghans hate USA.

I am not confident in USA.
I am afraid my subway train will explode.
I am afraid nuclear war will break out between Pakistan and India or between somebody else and somebody else.
These are not irrational frears.
I was given advise on post traumatic stress disorder, told where to go for therapy, counselling, told what the symptoms are.
But its to soon for pst-traumatic stress, because the TRAUMA is still here, still happening.

And then there are the threats I don’t know about.


Midtown, that’s where I work, now that Lower Manhattan has gone to hell
But Startbucks scatters its sameness everywhere. Same music, same coffee here on 57th that was on Fulton.
Read newspapers, write in notebooks, draw, drink coffee, try to flirt, stare out windows at passersby who don’t appear concerned about free floating spores
We each do our own threat assessment
When trains are stopped for “police activity” we never learn what that activity was.
When a woman who worked in a hospital on 64th Street dies of anthrax we don’t know how she got it.
“Spore” is the root for “sporadic,” so anthrax attacks are literally sporadic
The rich white men are now in a panic over the cracks that have appeared in the American empire. They punch walls, kick doors, and bomb Afghanistan.
When a rich white man is scared he attacks poor nonwhite people. It always makes him feel better and blessed by God.